Sand & Stone

What is sorrow and why do we have to go through it?  Webster's dictionary explains sorrow as, "a feeling of deep distress caused by loss, disappointment, or other misfortune suffered by oneself or others." When was the last time you experienced sorrow? Why does God allow sorrow into the lives of those who have eternal life in Him? Shouldn't we as Christians be exempt from all pain and sorrow? In Romans 8:28, Paul writes that "in all things God works for the good of those who love him." This does not mean that all that happens to us will be good. Evil is evident all around us, but God is able to turn every circumstance around and make it good. We may not see the results quickly, but once we go through the valley and reach the hilltop, we realize the good that God worked out for His glory. Billy Graham mentions in his devotional that times of afflictions and sorrow are included in the "all things."


 The Bible talks about three types of sorrow. The first one is sorrow over others. We experience sorrow over a family member who we know is lost and dying who continues to reject Christ even after our constant persuasions to accept Christ. Parents experience sorrow when their children and grandchildren choose paths that will lead to destruction. We experience sorrow when those we love hurt. There is no other feeling of helplessness than when we know someone is hurting and can't do anything to take away the pain. When our loved ones lose loved ones and go through things that we just can't understand, we feel helpless and inadequate. We would do anything to take away their pain. We mourn with those who mourn and rejoice with those who rejoice.


Another type is personal sorrow. Personal sorrows come into play when sorrow affects us directly. It could be the result of a termination of employment, loss of relationships, loss of loved ones, or loss of a home. Personal sorrow is the most detrimental to our Christian walk. It is through personal sorrow that we begin to doubt God and question His plans. We are more likely to get angry with God and cut off our communications with Him for awhile. We begin to blame God and sometimes turn away from Him. In the worst case scenario, we completely cut off all ties with church and God because we feel that we were unjustly treated.


The last type that the Bible describes is Godly sorrow.  Paul writes in 2 Corinthians, "Even if I caused you sorrow by my letter, I do not regret it.  Though I did regret it - I see that my letter hurt you, but only for a little while - yet now I am happy, not because you were made sorry, but because your sorrow led you to repentance.  For you became sorrowful as God intended and so were not harmed in any way by us.  Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regrets, but worldly sorrow brings death" (2 Corinthians 7:8-10). Godly sorrow stems from our personal remorse for living sinful lives to such a degree that we feel guilty that Christ died on a cross for the sins we choose. It projects out when we begin to realize that we broke God's heart and contributed to Christ's death on the cross. Our daily decisions that may lead to sin causes us to regret and humble ourselves before God. It comes once we realize that we must fall down on our face before Christ and ask for forgiveness for our sins. It is the point in our lives where we come to the realization that we have betrayed Christ when we choose things of this world over Him and His plans for our lives. A Godly sorrow is when we come to the realization that we must ask for forgiveness and come to Christ heartbroken over our sinful choices. It is when we turn back to Christ and repent.


I came across a saying the other day at Mardel that made me stop and think. The thought provoking saying was printed on a rock that said, "Write your sorrows in sand...carve your blessings in stone."  How often do we complain about all of the sorrow in our lives, but neglect to remember the many blessings that Christ has bestowed upon us that we didn't deserve. When we begin to reflect on this quote we can be comforted in counting our blessings instead of keeping track of our sorrows. God doesn't work to make us happy all of the time, but to fulfill His purpose in our lives. We as Christians trust in God, not life's treasures; we look for security in Heaven, not on earth; we learn to accept, not resent, pain and persecution because God is with us.


We have always heard the phrase, "God will never give us more than we can handle" and have held it close as a reminder to get us through tough situations. However, after our experiences with grief and sorrow, a new phrase is more true. "God will never give us anything that we can't handle THROUGH Him." He can give us more than we can handle, but it will never be more than He can handle. So remember the next time you experience sorrow don't keep track of the hurtful times, but remember that God's blessings will come.  A popular song comes to mind when I think about sorrow.  Derrell Evans' song "Trading My Sorrows" goes like this:


I'm pressed but not crushed persecuted not abandoned
Struck down but not destroyed I'm blessed beyond the curse for his promise will endure
And his joy's gonna be my strength
Though the sorrow may last for the night His joy comes with the morning.


The next time you or someone you love experience a sorrowful time, remember this song and God's promise to never leave you or forsake you then hold on and weather the storm.